Sunday, February 13, 2011

Excel Awesomeness

Being the engineer that I am, I tend to think that all of life's problems can be solved by the creation of an awesome Excel workbook, complete with formulas and macros.

In fact, when Steve and I were newlyweds and talking about having babies, the first thing I did was create a spreadsheet. It was a wonder of complex formulas and macros, taking into account such variables as:
- How much it would suck to be pregnant in the winter (Winter Suck Factor)
- How much it would suck to be pregnant in the summer (Summer Suck Factor)
- When the perfect time would be to have baby number 1 (a boy)
- When the perfect time would be to have baby number 2 (a girl)
- Pros and Cons of having baby number 3
- The proper spacing between babies
Little did I know that Mother Nature was about to throw me a huge curve ball called infertility, that would involve things like sperm counts, ovulation prediction, drugs, more drugs, and finally the sort of injections that tend to result in litters of children.(Luckily we were finally able to have 2 beautiful boys (one at a time, thank God) spaced 2 years apart. The spreadsheet went into the recycle bin.)

But I'm an optimistic engineer, so I keep creating spreadsheets and hoping for the best.

When I started writing about food, I realized right away that I am severely adjectivily-challenged. I have one adjective in my arsenal and it's awesome.
   How was the pizza? 

Sometimes, if it's really awesome, I'll use awesome!
   Laurie's homemade lasagna?

I reserve AWESOME! for the very finest:
   The Mangalitza Lonza from Salume Beddu?

Clearly I needed help.

So what's a girl to do? Build an awesome Excel workbook called The Random Awesomeness Generator*, of course. If you have any suggestions for my collection of awesome words, let me know! This is going to be awesome fabulous!

This was written in Excel 2003 and will probably fail miserably under any of the following conditions:
- You don't have Excel at all (definite fail)
- You have that abomination Excel 2007 (possible fail)
- You use a Mac (all bets are off)
If it doesn't work? Well... tough. Sorry!


  1. Did your pregnancy program include "awesome" places in which to get, say, on a sailboat in the Bahamas?

  2. Hahahahaha, Pat! Nope, the boat was after I had deleted the Excel file and given up. That's why it worked!

  3. Totally AWSOME blog, Bubbie!